It all starts , when you wake up with a bump on your forehead ( Mosquitoes in Kerala have apt timings!)
Then you're not allowed to go to receive your best friend.( You're the bride, you should always stay in.)
You're not allowed to 'talk too much.' ( Your 'frightening frankness' might just offend people )
Dont laugh loud (It is interpreted as indiscipline)
Dont play with or carry any babies.( They drool and spoil your saree/makeup. The stiffness of the saree becomes more important than showing your love to the one thing that brings you utmost happiness - babies)
Not to mention the beautician, who transforms you into 'the frog princess' you heard of in books and fairy tales ( No exaggerations here)
And the photographer who would make you go “ Im gonna kill you, and I will die too”
All you know is you are a puppet ! “Tilt your head, come forward, lean backward, open your eyes, show your teeth while you smile, look into the lens”- puppet!
And you cannot give ANY of them your piece of mind ( #1 Its not ethical to interfere in someone's work. They should be given their freedom to work. #2 You would be upsetting your dearest ones who hired them for you. #3 Giving your opinion= Throwing Attitude. And when you're the bride, its a BIG NO -NO )
So you don't know who came, who passed, what did they think of the food? Did they enjoy the time they spent?
You are so miffed and miserable that you do not want to even look at the man, you have been waiting and pining for.
You want the day to end!
You wanna run home and grab his T shirt , bury your nose in it and melt in that smell of his sweet hot sweat, hoping it would drive away all those dreadful moments of your horribly 'special' day.
“Its your day” they say. And thats the day, they walk all over you.
Not over! As a final means to torture , you also get to sing a song and entertain the guests.
And there!!! Congratulations to you! You've finally earned the trophy for the 'most annoyed bride'!!
P. S : I only got engaged! The big day is yet to come! Sigh!
P.P.S: But there were a few moments that cracked me up though. Like when the groom gropes for your feet with his, to check if you're wearing sandals . And a few real cute ones. Like where you look the ring before you put it on him and you see the lines ' Like a moth to a flame' engraved on it :)