It was just a few years back I discovered that tears,....................... tears can liberate you!
It took me 19 years of my life to cry ….....My folks back home still tell people of my heroic childhood stories, of how I wouldnt even wince, if I got myself cut, or If Im hurt while playing. My knees or fingers would bleed, but I'd wipe it off with my skirt and get myself upto the next mischief.
For me, crying or being emotional in any way until a couple of years back was synonym to being weak!
And I always wanted to be brave.
Now as I look back, I see what a coward I was to hide and hoard all my true emotions . I ran way from them rather than expressing, confronting or owning them.
It took 19 years for the floodgates to open and unleash the wrath within.
I cried that day without a break for an hour and a half ( no exaggerations here) and that too in a public forum with tonnes of young people staring at me.
Reason?? I cant remember …..........I know, its all the denying of being emotional, refusing to 'feel' and the suppressing of 'feeling' that got me there.
The reason didn't matter anyways. What mattered was that the heavy and iniquitous ice berg of piled up emotions had started melting. What mattered was the process ---- the purgative effect . What mattered even more was that this breaking down, thereby had shaped me into a much braver person. And what mattered most was that I had discovered the 'girl' in me.
I love being the 'girl' now. And this is for all those who loves being in touch with the 'girl' in them.
***I AM AN EMOTIONAL CREATURE
I love being a girl.
I can feel what you're feeling
as you're feeling it inside
I am an emotional creature.
Things do not come to me
as intellectual theories or hard-shaped ideas.
They pulse through my organs and legs
and burn up my ears.
I know when your girlfriend's really pissed off
even though she appears to give you what
I know when a storm is coming.
I can feel the invisible stirrings in the air.
I can tell you he won't call back.
It's a vibe I share.